You may be ready for a divorce, or just looking for separation. Either way, you and your spouse will need an agreement on how to address parenting, property, debts, spousal support, and more. You don't want to air your private lives in a public process, and you don't want attorneys and judges making all the decisions for you and your family, but what choice do you have?
We offer an alternative. Mediation offers an opportunity to help separating or divorcing couples communicate, building an agreement that works for them. The process is absolutely confidential, and nobody will force you into anything you don't want to agree to. You and you spouse can make informed decisions, consult experts, and settle the issues that are important to you.
This process is easier on you and your children, and it can be dramatically more effective. How much more? Studies have shown that families that engage in Divorce Mediation are nearly four times less likely to require settlement before a judge. Families who participate in Divorce Mediation are also three times more likely to have weekly contact between children and their non-custodial parent. These results and more are available at any time; even after court proceedings have been filed.
The mediation approach is also available at a substantially lower cost than the traditional approach of having attorneys negotiate for you. The cost of services is determined by your income, so it is always affordable for any family. Our well-designed and easy-to-follow workbooks allow each spouse to gather as much information as possible outside of the sessions, respecting your time and making the best use of your available resources. Of course, we strongly encourage parties to seek advice and information from experts such as attorneys, accountants, ministers, and family whenever is seems appropriate.
Divorce Mediators work in mixed-gender pairs, and your family will have the same team throughout the process. These mediators have been certified in accordance with standards set by the New York State Unified Court System. Before being assigned to a team, the people you will be working with started by earning their basic, Community-based mediation certifications. These practitioners then went on to training, apprenticeship, certification and experience in Family-related disciplines such as Custody and Visitation, Parent-Teen, Child Support, and more.
Interested in beginning the process of creating separate lives together? This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it , and choose divorce with dignity. Have questions and concerns? Take a look at the Frequently Asked Questions below.
Do I have to be divorcing in order to use this service?
No. Couples who are separating on a trial basis or contemplating divorce may also use the service. In addition, couples who are not, or never have been, married, but whose relationships are ending can benefit from the service as they look to separate their lives and property.
What kind of issues can be discussed in Divorce & Separation Mediation?
Any topic that is important to you. Divorce mediators are trained to handle almost any imaginable issue. Common topics of discussion include:
- Temporary/Interim Agreements during Separation
- Parenting Plans, including Custody & Visitation
- Financial Planning, including Budgeting, Income, Assets, Liabilities, Spousal Maintenace (aka Alimony) and Child Support
- Division of Personal Property
Who can participate in the mediation process; can I have an attorney present?
Anyone who has a stake in the process may attend the mediation sessions, as long as the couple agrees. Attorneys and other experts are welcome, with the understanding that they are present as advisors, and that the mediation is not a court proceeding. Older children and other family members are also sometimes involved.
Are Divorce Mediators attorneys?
Divorce Mediators come from a wide variety of backgrounds, including law, social work, and more. However, even if a mediator is AN attorney, they are not YOUR attorney; they are your mediator, and cannot advise or represent you. Though mediators are not, in general required to be licensed in New York State, Divorce Mediators who practice with The Peacemaker Program, Inc. are experienced professionals who are certified in accordance to the Unified Court System's standards. They follow a stringent Code of Ethics set forth by the Unified Court System.
Is Divorce and Separation Mediation a replacement for an attorney?
This process is intended as a supplement to your attorney; not a replacement. Divorce Mediators strongly recommend that parties consult knowledgable experts whenever they need information. Besides attorneys, this can include accountants, counselors, and clergy. While your Divorce Mediators can often offer legal and financial information, they CANNOT and will not offer legal, financial, or other advice.
If I will still be using an attorney, why do I need Divorce and Separation Mediation?
We believe in using the appropriate expert for every stage of the process. While an attorney is the best-informed professional when seeking advice and assistance regarding the filing of your divorce, the bulk of the process is easier and less expensive with Divorce Mediators.
How much does the service cost?
The couple first purchases a pair of Divorce Workbooks, for $25 each.
There is an hourly fee for the mediation sessions themselves, which is based on the couple's combined income. This fee ranges from $20 to $175 per hour.
The Divorce Mediators can also prepare a Memorandum of Understanding (MOU) for a flat fee of $125.
What is the Divorce Workbook, and why do I need it?
The Divorce Workbook acts as a guide for separating couples to make the mediation process much smoother. It has been developed by experts in the field and contains worksheets, forms, and other information on issues that a couple will need to address. Each participant has their own workbook, which they fill out independently and then compare to the other person's during the mediation session to help highlight areas of agreement and disagreement.
Sample pages from our Divorce workbook are available Here and Here (pdf).
How long are the sessions, and how many will I need?
Sessions are scheduled in two-hour blocks. Couples range from two sessions to several, depending on the complexity of their issues and the level of detail they wish to address. To help reduce costs and make the best use of the couple's time, the Divorce Mediators will often assign "homework" between sessions, so parties can create suggestions and gather information for the next meeting.
What is a Memorandum of Understanding (MOU)?
The MOU is a document that can be prepared by your Divorce Mediators at the end of the process. The MOU summarizes the decisions you have made, and can be used either to file your divorce yourself, or as a guide for an attorney to porepare your divorce paperwork. The MOU is NOT a legal document, and has no force of law until it is filed with, and approved by, the Supreme Court.
